MAJOR CRIME: RACISM
It boggles my mind that humanity is still hung up on race, especially in the United States. Apparently, the sacrifice of 620,000 lives in the Civil War simply wasn’t enough of an eye-opener as to how fucking stupid racism is. Sometimes I think we deserve to have all those dead soldiers rise from the grave and start bitch-slapping people.
First, “race” is a meaningless word. There are no “races” of people. We are all genetically the same; we can interbreed anywhere on the planet we happen to run into each other. We are all one species. Therefore, unless you’re talking about the Indianapolis Speedway, “race” has no goddamn meaning.
Second, having a bias against someone only because of appearance is beyond shallow and childish: it’s an insult to anyone with an IQ over 15. Hey, I have brown eyes, why don’t you hate me for that? I’m over five feet tall, why don’t you hate me for that? Makes about as much sense as hating anyone for the color of his or her skin, doesn’t it?
How about those guys in Texas who tied a black man to the back of their truck and dragged him down the road until his body fell apart? Holy Jesus fucking Christ. Where do these fuckwads come from? (Besides Texas, I mean.) I don’t understand the thought process here. Were these guys channeling the Middle Ages or something?
“Hey, Jed, ya got a hunk a rope?”
“Sure do, Cletus. Why?”
“I got me a great idea fer some fun . . . ”
And how does some dickhead say, “I wants to drag a guy to death” and have another human being actually agree that it would be a real hoot? How do these assfucks find each other? It makes a great argument against more prisons when you realize that’s probably where these two brain dead throwbacks met and compared notes. Assuming they knew how to write notes in the first place, of course.
Considering everything else we have to worry about on this planet, why make up more shit to cause trouble? And that’s exactly what racism is: meaningless, fabricated bullshit. We’ve got Ebola making people explode in Zaire, nuclear power plants overheating, space shuttles disintegrating in mid-flight and Paris Hilton on TV, and some schmuck in Alabama wants me to hate people that have dark skin? Fuck you, Skeeter. Pull your head out of your sister’s ass and schlep on in to the twenty-first century, why don’t you?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there must be some positive things about racists. Those guys in Hayden Lake, Idaho, got a real sense of style going with their black uniforms and red armbands and little Hitler-esque moustaches. Too bad they didn’t think it up themselves. And I love those pointy hats the Klan wears, mainly because they’re so easy to see from a distance, giving you plenty of time to get in your car and get the fuck out of the area.
Um . . . okay, I’m having trouble thinking of any other positive things to say about ‘em. Oh! They all seem to really like the Bible, too. Huh. Imagine that.